Last days

What does one do with their time in the final days of a big life event, knowing what you have been living is soon to come to an end and you will never be able to walk back into it again?  It’s like a premeditated death of sorts, much healthier of course, but the acute awareness of a final moment(s) is quite strange and lovely if not at the same time incredibly unsettling.  At least for the stomach.  Mine won’t stop churning! 

The notion of time is very present, there is a clock ticking and a very real finality that awaits.  In this type of country to country move, everything that existed in my life for the past 2.5 years will be obsolete in my new environment.  Not even obsolete because it never existed there in the first place.  The people, the sights, my daily routines.  Not even traces of it will be apparent.  Only the memories in my own head, some pictures, and a few friends from Cali who visited me here and at least know what or why I am talking about (maybe complaining!) when I have a hard time adjusting to dinner before 9 pm, the lack of good coffee, no public transport. 

My articulation skills in English are a bit rusty, my brain is slight awash in a list of things to do vs. things to enjoy vs. just plain old things. 

I am not sure I am much for the ‘live each day as if it were your last’ idea.  I think I’m closer to just…live each day, and do it well.  See the beauty, appreciate the gifts, try to laugh and if you need to cry that’s okay too.  All of our experiences end, not just moving from place to place but the mundane things too…jobs, relationships, children grow, cities change.  I’m thankful for the time I’ve had here, especially in these last days.  To reflect, appreciate, and just float a bit in this existence.  

Sagres, PT  

Europe’s south-western most point

(photo: Edmundo Diaz)

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~ by maureenmoore on August 6, 2009.

One Response to “Last days”

  1. Dig it…soak it in…take pictures…write about it. You’ll never forget your time there, but remember that it’s just part of a larger story, and your future holds even more promise and adventure and happiness than your past. We in Cali can’t wait to have you back here. I already know where I’m gonna take you when you get home. Beijos. Amanda

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